Thanks for Your Advice, but I Need to Be White to Follow It

When you give advice to a Black person from a place of white privilege, don’t expect us to say thank you

Photo: Astrakan Images/Getty Images

I am an anti-racism writer. I share my experiences so that people understand that racism is real; it is not the collective hallucination of Black people the world over.

I write from a place of pain and trauma. It hurts to relive my experiences, but I feel the need to share them with the universe to generate empathy, compassion, and hopefully change.

Often — White people mainly — get aggressive and defensive about what I write. It manifests itself by outright insults, gaslighting, and bullying. Others look down from their pedestal of white privilege and give me advice that could only possibly work if I were White like them. They think they are allies in the fight against racism when they are not. They give what they feel is great advice on a host of issues and expect profuse thanks. What is it that they don’t understand about me, a Black woman, not basking in white privilege as they do?

When I struggle to find employment, an HR manager or artificial intelligence program Googles me the moment I apply for a job. Within a second, they know I am Black; within a minute, I’m automatically disqualified…